It's time to declare the search for the next Harry Potter over and give J.K. Rowling and her boy wizard the title of ultimate family fantasy franchise in perpetuity. Perhaps that will keep audiences from suffering through more underwhelming wannabes like The Spiderwick Chronicles. After a year that saw Stardust, The Golden Compass, The Seeker: The Dark is Rising, and the anticipated arrival of another trip to Narnia, no one has yet to top Hogwart's or those who dwell inside its hallowed halls. Spiderwick is no different. It's all a big, implausible CGI payoff, lacking the necessary context to engage its audience.
It’s been a tough few weeks for the Grace family. An impending divorce has seen Mom (Mary-Louise Parker) and her three kids -- oldest daughter Mallory (Sarah Bolger) and twin boys Jared and Simon (Freddie Highmore) -- leaving New York and heading to the country, where a crazy aunt's (Joan Plowright) rundown residence awaits them. After hearing a noise in the walls, one of the boys breaks open a secret section, revealing a long forgotten attic room. In it, he finds the Spiderwick Chronicles, a book written by his great uncle (David Strathairn) concerning a magical world beyond reality. In this enchanted domain, fairies and other sprites battle ogres and goblins for the fate of all.
Initially, no one believes the book. But when house brownie Thimbletack (Martin Short) makes himself known, it all becomes very real -- including the army of creatures led by the evil Mulgarath (Nick Nolte). They want the book, and will stop at nothing to get it, even if that means destroying the Grace family once and for all.
Darker than one would expect, The Spiderwick Chronicles is kiddie-oriented fare for the postmodern ADHD-addled underling. It's all moving objects and animated placeholders. Trying to adapt all five of the Lemony Snicket-like novels into a single film may have seemed like a good idea when the project was being tossed around, but the air of rushed condensing permeates every element of this motion picture. Director Mark Waters, best known for the tween treats Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, takes a greatest hits approach to his narrative, hitting only the high points with as many computer-generated imps as possible. But since we get very little of the Spiderwick mythos in the process, we're overwhelmed by the supernatural spectacle.
Proving that August Rush was not just an awkward phase, Freddie Highmore's double-take performance reduces prepubescent mischief down to its Goofus and Gallant roots. While Jared is a jerk, Simon is making nice with the enchanted populace. Similarly, Sarah Bolger brings nothing new to the role of the dictatorial older sibling. Even in "I believe" mode, she's carrying too much adolescent aggression. As for the beasties, the voice work is merely adequate. Short's stint as Thimbletack is decent, if a tad shrill, and Seth Rogen gets his Shrek on as friendly hobgoblin Hogsqueal. But Nick Nolte's extended cameo as Mulgarath is more Howard the Duck Dark Overlord than menacing, and both Plowright and Strathairn seem beamed in from another film.
Still, if you like your fantasy on the frilly side, if you want nothing but monster money shots and effects-laden action scenes, The Spiderwick Chronicles will definitely satisfy such one-sided needs. There's no greatness or gravitas here, just a Ghoulies for the post-millennial crowd, complete with lots of short attention span flash. It's also indicative of what's wrong with all the proto-Potter positioning. There is much more to Rowling's magical realm than dragons, derring-do, and Dumbledore. Sadly, those looking to mimic its success seem to forget that. The Spiderwick Chronicles sure does.
Stop. Dinner time.
See Also
Monday, 30 June 2008
The Spiderwick Chronicles - 6/24/2008
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Bonobo
Artist: Bonobo
Genre(s):
R&B: Soul
Electronic
Trip-Hop
Acid Jazz
Dance
House
Discography:
Nightlite
Year: 2006
Tracks: 3
Days to Come
Year: 2006
Tracks: 11
Live Sessions
Year: 2005
Tracks: 6
It Came From The Sea
Year: 2005
Tracks: 20
Dial M for monkey
Year: 2003
Tracks: 9
One Offs...Remixes and B Sides
Year: 2002
Tracks: 11
Sweetness (Limited Edition Vynil)
Year: 2001
Tracks: 14
Sweetness
Year: 2001
Tracks: 14
Animal magic
Year: 2000
Tracks: 10
With the experimental warmheartedness of '60s French films and the pizzicato sapidity of horizontal hip-hop, Simon Green's Bonobo envision accomplished a welcome recession of a pretension-free, post-party noetic settle down. An nigh mum figure among Ibizian romanticists, Green began in Brighton, debuting in 1999 with a cartroad on Tru Thoughts Recordings' When Shapes Join Together digest. Though tempted by offers from Mute and XL later on the official effect of "The Scuba EP" and the "Terrapin" single, Green stuck with Tru Thoughts for the acclaimed debut LP Animal Magic. Highlighted by downtempo dub, funk, and an evenly likeable manipulation of sitars, Animal Magic was an obvious success and plans were chop-chop made for careful European support appearances, as well as a follow-up album, Dial "M" for Monkey, for Coldcut's Ninja Tune label. A tour to financial backing the record followed and was documented on the 2005 EP Live Sessions.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Minka Kelly - Kellys Warm Wishes For Mayer Aniston
Actress MINKA KELLY has given her ex-boyfriend JOHN MAYER her blessing to date former FRIENDS star JENNIFER ANISTON.
Kelly and Mayer enjoyed a four-month relationship after the rocker split with Jessica Simpson last year (07).
The couple broke up in January (08) and Mayer has subsequently been linked to Aniston, having spent several romantic weekends with the actress.
And although the pair have yet to confirm they are an item, Kelly insists she harbours no ill feelings towards her ex-lover and wishes him well if he is dating Aniston.
She tells Usmagazine.com, "I wish them the best."
See Also
Friday, 6 June 2008
Remembering Never
Artist: Remembering Never
Genre(s):
Metal
Discography:
God Save Us
Year: 2006
Tracks: 14
Combining both the energy Department and craze of metal-inspired patterns with the melodic phrase and force of emo, Remembering Never brings onward distinct solutions for the hard-core music scene. Remembering Never formed in Fort Lauderdale, FL, in the late '90s, with a batting order consisting of singer Justin, Pete (guitar), Norm (guitar), Grease (bass), and drummer Danny.
Following a series of batting order changes, the band finally fixed its core when Pete took over vocals, Grease stirred on to the guitar section, and Dre took on bass duties while Justin left field the set and Danny stayed. In 2002, the squad issued its first gear saucer, the EP Suffocates My Words to You. Following a series of relentless shows, the work party signed on with the Ferret Music record label, issuance She Looks So Good in Red, their debut album, still in 2002.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)